Hello there!
I don’t know about you, but this winter is starting to drag on longer than I would like. Generating an income from being outside has myriad benefits, and most of the time I love the connection to the seasons it gives me, but back to back weeks of heavy rain, soggy waterproofs, slippery hillsides and back breaking, sometimes dangerous toil can start to take its toll. Signs of spring are popping up everywhere but they fail to brighten the mood - even the primroses look forlorn, bedraggled and beaten down.
Perhaps it’s the gloom of winter, or perhaps it’s something deeper niggling away in the darker recesses of my subconscious, but it’s been hard to stay positive lately and the precarious nature of chasing a living on your own terms has been on my mind the last few weeks.
A couple of opportunities passed us by recently which made it painfully apparent that we are so dependent on the whims and desires of those around us. Success or failure always just one step away, yet out of our control. We are teetering on the edge, hands poised to help us, others set to send us tumbling down, or to sweep in and steal our glory. We are reliant on those with more power and influence to make or break connections and it is exhausting.
One idea that often appeals about self employment is the sense of agency it gives you over your own life - but isn’t that a myth? You can only do the work you enjoy if you can find someone to pay you for doing it.
I’ve also been thinking about how much more easily those with money behind them can make opportunities happen for themselves, compared to those of us with no backup or financial support. How easy it is to become trapped, to get left behind by those with the freedom to invest time in honing their craft or to improve their chances by investing in new skills and education. I saw a quote the other day that said “Other people’s successes are not your failures” which is a helpful thing to remind yourself of - yet it is hard to watch others do the things you want to do, not because they are smarter, or work harder or are better people, but because they can afford to and you can’t.
We have no desire for riches - yet we do have a yearning for equal opportunities. We are frustrated for not only ourselves but for others whose aspirations are limited by their financial status. My heart breaks for those who want nothing more than to better themselves, those who see no way out, those who have to watch others succeed around them while their ideas gasp for air, suffocated by the practicalities of scraping a living.
I remember when I started out in the woods, it took me years before I found a way of getting my chainsaw qualifications - at over £700 for the training it was completely out of reach, yet a necessary requirement for working in other people’s woods and making a living. Others I knew could simply pay up, get the skills and get to work - were they more deserving? Had they worked harder? Maybe, but I suspect not. I wonder how many others find themselves stifled in similar ways? How many ideas, dreams and schemes are unfairly quashed from the outset by the inequalities baked into society?
I’m aware that somewhere along the way, we chose this path - or maybe it chose us - and we must continue on our journey in the hope that one day, something gives and we can seize opportunities as they come our way.
I didn’t mean to write this post this week, I wanted to write about our latest summit attempt, I wanted to write about the coming of spring and of brighter days ahead, but the weight of winter and of perpetual struggle have made it impossible to write anything more upbeat. Sorry about that.
Sometimes it feels like it’s just us struggling to make things work but I know we’re not alone - if you are out there doing your best to carve out a living, juggling projects, chasing opportunities and trying to swim against the tide in an effort to stay true to who you are, keep going!
With warm wishes and hope for brighter days ahead,
Andrew, Emma and Benji
x
Ok. Two things. This time of year is always tough for me, too. It is not nearly as cold here. Flowers are blooming and the temps are touching 70 degrees (f). I love the cold, but every year, as soon as this begins to happen in the late winter, I become highly restless and anticipate adventuring in the sunlight. I imagine it is what bears feel like coming out of hibernation.
I hate to read of your struggles because I know your efforts are worthy! I encounter many of the same things, although I have a separate career from what I present here in Substack. It isn't fair. Success does not always equate to quality and worth. The thing to do here is to focus on what is in our control and what is not. And the only things that are in our control are what we choose to put our efforts towards and our attitudes on life and our circumstances. We all want to provide better for ourselves and loved ones and this is a noble goal. But, look at what you have already! A phenomenal family! You are influencing the course of humanity by raising your son as the best version conceivable of the next generation. And you have also introduced people across the world to the profound beauty and connection with the corner of the earth you call home. I try to remind myself of this perspective. Hopefully the universe acknowledges our efforts with success, and I absolutely believed you are deserving. But ultimately, I'd still do all of this anyway. The perspective helps me to love my fate.
You never fail to hit the mark with your writing.
Everything crossed that new opportunities arrive for you guys.